who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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