You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
