I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
