My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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