What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
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