My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I think a kid would responsible me up
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
