Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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