you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
