just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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