Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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