Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
This is my gift to your gina
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
