so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
