I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
