then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I want to fling myself into the sun
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
