Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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