but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
