i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
