who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
