i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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