it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
