i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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