Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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