I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
