He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
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