I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
