Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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