Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize