So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
