ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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