More tranny stories later!
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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