I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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