How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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