You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I have fence marks all over my body
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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