Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
