When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
