Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
