We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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