I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
