In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
