I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
