i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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