just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
