Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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