Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
