What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
