belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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