Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
