I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
