We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
