i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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